What Do Chinese Men Want in a Woman?
Many Western women have been confused by the fact that Chinese men love to “sajiao” them – carrying bags, paying for things and bringing them food are all ways they show their affection. But is this a good thing?
Hysteria is growing in China over the country’s “leftover women,” but it seems young females are pushing back against social pressure to get hitched.
1. Good appearance
While Chinese men may look for a Western woman for marriage, they do not seek a foreign woman solely for her physical beauty. Instead, they prefer women who are well educated and earn a good living. They also desire a kind and compassionate personality, which is reflected in the way they treat their friends.
Despite the fact that China now has many millions more men than women, traditional gender-based expectations remain firmly in place. Young women who express more pro-natalist attitudes (i.e., who want to have children) have a significantly greater desire to avoid dating men with low educational attainment and incomes.
In addition, girls who express more pro-natalist attitudes are less likely to be willing to kiss or have sex during the first date. This suggests that they are more interested in establishing a long-term relationship with their partner and may be reluctant to jump into an intimate affair too quickly.
Generally, if a Chinese girl marries a Western man, she will most likely move back to her parents’ home in China. This is partly due to the fact that their parents expect them to care for their aging family members, and partly because of cultural traditions that encourage females to stay at home and take on the role of housewife once they are married.
2. Sense of humor
While it is becoming increasingly common to see Western women dating Chinese men, this was not always the case. It could be because of how Chinese men, and Asian men in general, are portrayed in the West; as celibate martial arts heroes or one dimensional token minorities. It could also be because the traditional Chinese family structure puts an emphasis on marriage and children before love. Whatever the reason, I think it is fair to say that the sight of a Western woman with a Chinese man still strikes a chord with many.
This is partly why there are so many idiotic myths about Chinese men and their inability to satisfy the libidos of Western women. Hopefully, this article has helped to dispel some of those myths.
3. Filial
There is no doubt that Chinese men want good family relationships. They want a woman that will help them maintain their household and raise their children in a proper manner. In addition, they want a woman that can be a support system for them when their family is under stress.
Although younger cohorts may be more exposed to increasing individualism and Western culture, filial obligation remains a strong, tangible value within Chinese culture that binds children to their parents. This may explain why, despite a growing trend toward lower birth rates, many Chinese women are still eager to marry. However, these marriages tend to involve a larger age gap than those in the West. This may be because the financial costs of raising children are a significant deterrent to early marriage.
4. Respect for family
If you date a Chinese man, it’s likely his parents and his extended family will play a significant role in the relationship. They will be expected to meet your needs and help you through any challenges you may face. They will also want you to respect their family and their traditions. This is important to them because they want their children to have good marriages and have healthy relationships with their in-laws.
For women, this can mean putting more emphasis on their careers and avoiding intimate relationships until they feel financially secure. It can also mean having a more formal relationship with their parents, which is different than in the West. For example, it can be considered a breach of etiquette to call your parents when you are out with friends, and speaking in a whiny voice or stamping your feet are not seen as cute by many Chinese people.
The study also revealed that women with higher levels of self-esteem were more willing to have sex on a first date, and having friends who are dating was positively associated with this behavior. This suggests that young Chinese women are challenging traditional social norms, and may be seeking to reshape gender roles in their dating and intimate relationships.
5. Sense of loyalty
While the sight of a Western woman dating a Chinese man is becoming increasingly commonplace, the amount of advice and information available to those looking to embark on such a relationship remains relatively scarce. What is clear is that when it comes to Chinese men, patterns of partner preferences which are familiar across many cultures are at play.
For instance, women and men reported wanting to date partners who are well educated, wealthy, and successful. This is in keeping with gender stereotypes, though females also expressed a preference for pragmatic qualities in their partners (e.g., commitment, honesty). Interestingly, women who were more pro-natalist (i.e., wishing to have children one day) were less likely to be willing to kiss or have sex on the first date.
The importance of family in China is highlighted by the fact that almost half of respondents wanted to spend every day with their partners and over a quarter wanted to do so on the weekend. This emphasis on family is reflected in the country’s name for its unmarried men over 30 –
6. Beauty
In a poll conducted by Newsweek, managers ranked ‘good looks’ as the most important attribute in hiring. This may reflect the influence of Western culture, where attractive features, such as tanned skin and large eyes are considered desirable. But, this trend also shows that beauty is something very personal. It is a question of individual preferences, and the perception of beauty differs from culture to culture.
For example, Chinese women usually don’t expose their faces in public. Instead, they wear qipaos and other feminine clothing. This style of beauty eminates an aura of femininity that many men find innately attractive. They also tend to downplay certain physical traits that are commonly considered attractive by Westerners, such as tanned complexions or muscular physiques.
In addition to this, most Chinese women are raised to value family. As such, they tend to be more willing to marry whomever their parents approve of. This is why it’s quite common for a Chinese woman to live with her husband and children after marriage. This type of devotion to the family can cause some friction in Western relationships, but it is an integral part of Chinese culture. For these reasons, it is not surprising that many Western men find Chinese women attractive.
7. Money
Anyone who has been to China for any length of time knows the stereotypical stereotypes – from the Chinese guy at the club who assumes you’re his for the asking, to the coworker who wonders out loud if all foreign women sleep around after marriage. In fact, the phenomenon is so common that some Chinese men even hire “fake girlfriends” to present to their inquisitive parents (using apps like Hire Me Plz).
Generally, Chinese men place more importance on love and romance than financial security. This contrasts with Western women who tend to prioritize financial security over other aspects of a relationship.
However, the gender imbalance in China is making it difficult for many unmarried men to find a wife. One such phenomenon is the ‘lonely old man’, a term for men over 30 who have yet to find a partner. This is especially true in rural areas, where families are more tightly-knit and social attitudes are more traditional. These men are under pressure to get married and start a family as soon as possible, in order to save on child-rearing costs. In the worst cases, these men are being bribed with money by their own mother-in-laws.
